Simulated Markets in the Animal Crossing: New Horizons Community: An Exploration

If you, like me, have been trying to find a timesink as COVID-19 strips you of most worldly pleasures, you’ve probably come across discussions of Animal Crossing: New Horizons. After years as something of a cult favorite, New Horizons has burst into the zeitgeist as it became the most popular Animal Crossing title to date. That’s not saying that any previous title could be considered “indie” in any sense, but rather that New Horizons has become virtually unavoidable across game communities and social media. With that, the community has revved up into full force, with a surprisingly intricate online network that tried to meet the community’s material and social needs. Across Reddit and elsewhere, the game has formed its own online economy, down to a literal credit rating as a form of digital citizenship.

If you spend enough time in this space, and have your brain rot just enough where things start to fit together, some phenomena become visible. Namely, that it essentially crashed and rebuilt itself on two separate occasions since March.

Continue reading Simulated Markets in the Animal Crossing: New Horizons Community: An Exploration

The Severe, Pervasive, and Objectively Offensive Tenure of Betsy DeVos

Earlier this month, U.S. Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos released the long-awaited new Title IX rule. The two thousand page rule, broadly speaking, offers more protections for the accused party in sexual assault and harassment cases and allows universities to take as little responsibility for these cases as possible. Before delving into the latest garbage from DeVos’ Department of Education, let’s take a moment to reflect on her tenure so far.

Continue reading The Severe, Pervasive, and Objectively Offensive Tenure of Betsy DeVos

It’s Worse Than Trash, It’s Turning Point USA

4:20 AM. Easter Sunday. I awoke in a cold sweat in my childhood bedroom, suddenly haunted by the uncertainty that surrounds us. What do I really know? Am I even real? Well, I am thinking, I thought, and according to Descartes, that means that I am. But what else do I know? I jumped out of bed and fired up my laptop to find some answers. Any answer.

I opened Google and searched for “three undeniable facts”.

My heart was racing. I clicked on the first link. It was a video featuring a fellow named Rob Smith from Turning Point USA. The three undeniable facts are as follows: America is the greatest country on the planet, Donald Trump is saving America, and America will never be a socialist country.

You and I, dear reader, are in for a treat today.

Continue reading It’s Worse Than Trash, It’s Turning Point USA

UPDATE: Two More ASMSU Endorsements

Due to mysterious IT issues, voting in the ASMSU elections was delayed until this morning, March 31, and extended to April 6. Our guess is that Russian bots finally realized how important this election is to the balance of power in this country. No doubt that many of you read our election guide yesterday and were confused why you couldn’t vote. Well, we were too.

The good news is that during the delay, two more fantastic candidates saw our article and contacted us. We’re proud to include Aaron Iturralde (Education) and Jordan Kovach (James Madison) in our first-ever group of endorsements.

Iturralde is running on a broad platform that includes making himself available to his constituents through phone and email, holding office hours, advocating to make fifth-year internships in the College of Education more affordable, increasing teacher wages, greater transparency, increased diversity in the College of Education, and much more.

Kovach’s platform includes greater accountability for racial bias incidents on campus, advocating for MSU to divest from fossil fuels, putting feminine hygiene products in all campus bathrooms, increasing sustainability in dining halls, and greater support for immigrant students, regardless of documentation. She has also served as the secretary for the ASMSU Freshman Class Council this year.

We hope to see both of these students in the General Assembly next year, and we hope that those of you reading this vote.

-The Evening Look Staff

The Evening Look Guide to the ASMSU Elections

It’s that time of year again, folks — the flowers are in bloom, short sleeves are acceptable outside clothing, and the 5% of students who pay attention to this stuff choose who ascends to the hallowed halls of the Associated Students of Michigan State University, our student government. Those committed 5% (which hopefully includes you, reader) vote for their college’s representative in the ASMSU General Assembly from today, March 30, to April 5.

Last year, our publication was most concerned with the antics of Agriculture and Natural Resources representative Sergei Kelley, editor-in-chief of The Morning Watch, and the General Assembly’s attempt to boot him from the body. After Kelley’s defeat at the hands of his fellow students last spring, we turn our attention to the body as a whole.

Continue reading The Evening Look Guide to the ASMSU Elections

One Confirmed Case of Stupidity

The COVID-19 pandemic has turned East Lansing into a ghost town. The Grand River strip is dotted with restaurants that no longer have bustling dining areas. People have retreated indoors to self-quarantine, shutting down most club activities. Even MSU’s museum has closed, depriving students of hours of fun on mandatory class field trips. What is left in a college town with no college?

Continue reading One Confirmed Case of Stupidity

Mike Bloomberg Supporters: A Complete Taxonomy

Until the Democratic debate in Nevada, I did not know much about Michael Bloomberg. I knew he was the billionaire ex-mayor of New York City who once tried to ban the sale of sugary drinks above the size of 16 oz. Alas, Mike has reemerged in the form of an underwhelming and potently uncomfortable candidate for the presidency. Bloomberg, apparently unaware of how many skeletons are in his diamond-encrusted closet, has dragged his mayoral record back into our faces just to launch a doomed presidential bid. 

Continue reading Mike Bloomberg Supporters: A Complete Taxonomy

Call Me By Your Pronoun

As I lay, half-baked and alone on the couch, watching Call Me by Your Name for the 6.9th time, I couldn’t help but think to myself:

“I’m pretty sure I’m straight, but damn if I wouldn’t fuck Armie Hammer right now.”

I want to make it crystal clear that I would be more than willing to enter into a heated romantic relationship with Armie Hammer if it meant living in Italy, sipping on San Pellegrino Aranciata all day, and finger fucking peaches all night. I also have a deep desire to marry both Winklevoss twins at the same time.

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Candidates of the Corn: The Evening Look Primary Guide

On the day of the Iowa Caucus, The Evening Look presents its undisputed supreme ranking of our top eight Democratic primary candidates. This article is of critical importance given our large fanbase in the Hawkeye State. We hope everyone takes the time to vote in whatever manner they choose.  Our careful vetting of the candidates and thorough insight into the election will help some of the undecided amongst you find the candidate that is right for you and the country.

Continue reading Candidates of the Corn: The Evening Look Primary Guide

Down in the DMs: 2 Sergei 2 Slide

“That DM is the devil, son!”

music video for Yo Gotti’s “Down in the DM”

Longtime readers may remember that back in September, flyers for this blog went up around campus. Our flyer team noticed a Morning Watch poster folded on itself and placed our own flyer over it. This caused Morning Watch editor-in-chief Sergei Kelley to send a four-part DM to a loyal reader, under the impression that they worked for us. We thought that this would surely be the funniest interaction we ever had in the DMs, but we’re proud to announce that we were mistaken.

A few days ago, we checked the Evening Look Facebook page to find this:

Though a shorter DM, this incident demands a full breakdown.

Continue reading Down in the DMs: 2 Sergei 2 Slide