UPDATE: Two More ASMSU Endorsements

Due to mysterious IT issues, voting in the ASMSU elections was delayed until this morning, March 31, and extended to April 6. Our guess is that Russian bots finally realized how important this election is to the balance of power in this country. No doubt that many of you read our election guide yesterday and were confused why you couldn’t vote. Well, we were too.

The good news is that during the delay, two more fantastic candidates saw our article and contacted us. We’re proud to include Aaron Iturralde (Education) and Jordan Kovach (James Madison) in our first-ever group of endorsements.

Iturralde is running on a broad platform that includes making himself available to his constituents through phone and email, holding office hours, advocating to make fifth-year internships in the College of Education more affordable, increasing teacher wages, greater transparency, increased diversity in the College of Education, and much more.

Kovach’s platform includes greater accountability for racial bias incidents on campus, advocating for MSU to divest from fossil fuels, putting feminine hygiene products in all campus bathrooms, increasing sustainability in dining halls, and greater support for immigrant students, regardless of documentation. She has also served as the secretary for the ASMSU Freshman Class Council this year.

We hope to see both of these students in the General Assembly next year, and we hope that those of you reading this vote.

-The Evening Look Staff

The Evening Look Guide to the ASMSU Elections

It’s that time of year again, folks — the flowers are in bloom, short sleeves are acceptable outside clothing, and the 5% of students who pay attention to this stuff choose who ascends to the hallowed halls of the Associated Students of Michigan State University, our student government. Those committed 5% (which hopefully includes you, reader) vote for their college’s representative in the ASMSU General Assembly from today, March 30, to April 5.

Last year, our publication was most concerned with the antics of Agriculture and Natural Resources representative Sergei Kelley, editor-in-chief of The Morning Watch, and the General Assembly’s attempt to boot him from the body. After Kelley’s defeat at the hands of his fellow students last spring, we turn our attention to the body as a whole.

Continue reading The Evening Look Guide to the ASMSU Elections

One Confirmed Case of Stupidity

The COVID-19 pandemic has turned East Lansing into a ghost town. The Grand River strip is dotted with restaurants that no longer have bustling dining areas. People have retreated indoors to self-quarantine, shutting down most club activities. Even MSU’s museum has closed, depriving students of hours of fun on mandatory class field trips. What is left in a college town with no college?

Unfortunately, much like the coronavirus, our friends at The Morning Watch have proven highly resilient. They have chosen to continue to chase new lows for horrific campus takes. Their latest, “A Symptom of Coronavirus: Less Leftist Bias,” may be the worst one yet.

Penned by the big boss himself, Sergei Kelley, the article finds him in a unique situation. One of The Morning Watch’s goals is to “expose leftist bias” on campus, a questionable endeavor already but near-impossible when the RA boards are unused and campus events are shut down. Now that there is no leftist bias to expose on campus, where do they go from here? It’s not easy to sneak into the Zoom lectures for a sociology class in the hopes that you might record a prof suggesting that privilege is a real phenomenon.

The answer — the coronavirus is actually good.

Kelley hedges this claim at the start of this article by saying, “This is not to trivialize our situation, but a blunt description of a consequence.” I have no idea why he would do this if he wants to work in conservative media, where the default response to claims of offensiveness is to claim victory on the basis of hurting your opponent’s feelings. But make no mistake — Kelley has deep respect for the coronavirus. It has done what he and his publication never could: stop left-wing events on campus. 

One of the only things that hasn’t been straight up cancelled is a BLEXIT event with Candace Owens sponsored by MSU’s Turning Point USA chapter. This was merely postponed from April 7 to April 30, which seems inadequate as projections of the pandemic’s course suggest that normal life may not resume until June or July. However, given that Turning Point can’t get 50 people to an event, the event will definitely be CDC-compliant, so maybe they felt they could risk it. (Update: shortly after publication, MSU Turning Point canceled the event.)

There is no way to read this and not think it is trivializing the issue. This article absolutely salivates over the possibility that a deadly pandemic will stop Michigan State from putting up posters about not wearing blackface for Halloween. Your loved ones dying of severe, painful flu will be worth it if we don’t have to take a bias workshop so the university can pretend it tried to stop racist incidents on campus!

This could be excusable as an awful joke if this was simply placed in The Morning Watch’s satire section. But after our B. Bunny ethered their satire section back in January, their satire writer has disappeared. Perhaps they are too scared to place this trash opinion in the “just a joke” section and instead are forced to acknowledge that their honest-to-God opinion is that the coronavirus is good.

If you want a more serious response to coronavirus from the Watch, you have to go all the way to their Twitter page. In an attempt to look like an actual news site, they put out a press release on Twitter stating that they will be cancelling in-person meetings and telling readers to wash their hands and practice social distancing. The release also said they would be “focusing on exposing other avenues of leftist bias.” I suspect that will mean watching MSNBC on repeat and getting mad all the time instead of being cool and watching classic college basketball reruns on ESPN2.

Actually though, what other avenues are there to expose? The Morning Watch is a campus site. It’s not built to talk about national issues. At The Evening Look we pride ourselves on being able to talk about that sort of thing when campus events are slow, but they rarely talk about anything more consequential than ASMSU votes. 

There is one avenue left for leftist bias left in the Watch’s purview: us. If the RA boards, bias workshops, and non-threatening liberal speakers are all taken away, the only thing this virus can’t kill on campus is our website. We will be stepping up our game in these last couple months of spring semester to fill the void of leftist bias left behind by the pandemic. Expect ASMSU endorsements, analysis of this ghost town, and more responses to whatever trash comes out of The Morning Watch’s keyboards.

We look forward to being your source for MSU’s leftist bias in these dark days.

-K. Sins

Mike Bloomberg Supporters: A Complete Taxonomy

Until the Democratic debate in Nevada, I did not know much about Michael Bloomberg. I knew he was the billionaire ex-mayor of New York City who once tried to ban the sale of sugary drinks above the size of 16 oz. Alas, Mike has reemerged in the form of an underwhelming and potently uncomfortable candidate for the presidency. Bloomberg, apparently unaware of how many skeletons are in his diamond-encrusted closet, has dragged his mayoral record back into our faces just to launch a doomed presidential bid. 

Mike markets himself as the only candidate who can beat Donald Trump. But at this point, I have more questions than answers about his campaign. First of all, what on earth is Bloomberg doing? He’s one of the richest people on the planet and he chooses to spend his time getting his shit rocked by Elizabeth Warren?  I don’t get it. Secondly, who exactly is his base? I figured that by November 2019 the battle lines would have been firmly drawn and there would be no space left for any other qualified candidates, let alone Michael Bloomberg. 

One night as I lay tossing and turning, unable to come up with a satisfactory resolution to this question, I decided to launch a formal inquiry into just who these #Mike2020 supporters are. After extensive investigation, I’m ready to release my findings. The different types of Bloomberg supporters roughly fit into the following categories: 

  • Republicans

I thought that the Democrats had already drawn the battle lines before Bloomberg announced his run. But what I forgot to account for was the portion of the Democratic electorate that had yet to be claimed — Republicans. Bloomberg has by all accounts been successful in this arena, recently securing the critical endorsement of Clint Eastwood. You might remember Clint Eastwood from his speech at the 2012 Republican National Convention where he spent ten minutes talking to a wooden chair. Eastwood welcomes Mike as a more stable alternative to Trump, hilariously passing up Trump’s primary opponent, Bill Weld. Additionally, I can’t think of a candidate better equipped to represent the “#MeToo has gone too far” and the “what about the poor billionaires” wings of the Democratic party than a billionaire with a small but real history of sexual harassment.

  • People who think #SocialismSucks

At the Democratic debate in Nevada, Mikey showed us what happens when the gloves come off. His best zinger was directed toward Bernie Sanders: “The best known socialist in the country happens to be a millionaire with three houses. What did I miss here?” Nice one there, Mayor. Way to own the libs. All joking aside, Bloomberg may be playing his cards just right. On top of Sanders’ own inability to explain his past appraisal of authoritarian communist countries, the center-left media is having a field day with the Democratic frontrunner. It also seems that the “vote blue no matter who” crowd from the 2016 election is starting to go back on that sentiment, exposing that some are more scared of the word ‘socialist’ than four more years of Trump. 

  • People who like their steak done medium rare

As part of Bloomberg’s massive advertising campaign, residents of Phoenix and Las Vegas were treated to a few interesting billboards. One read “Donald Trump eats burnt steak. Mike Bloomberg likes his medium rare.” Another read “Donald Trump cheats at golf. Mike Bloomberg doesn’t.” This development signals to me that the Bloomberg campaign has resorted to boomer-tier, “orange man bad” CNN comment section memes. This campaign will nonetheless influence the large segment of voters who have thought about their primary vote for as long as it takes to prepare an undercooked steak. 

  • People who think he is the only one who can beat Trump

While this claim is just as evidenced as the existence of the so-called Holmes Hall, most of his backers take this as a cosmic truth. Not only do the majority of the candidates beat Trump in polls at any given time, but Bloomberg also doesn’t even win by the biggest margin. Now, you would be forgiven for believing that there is no one better to defeat Donald Trump than an equally disgusting New York businessman. However, you are not forgiven for thinking that the man who could not effectively battle a single Democratic candidate in Nevada could battle The Donald’s cult of personality. 

  • Evening Look Readers

The final and most important voter bloc for Bloomberg is the readers of this very publication. Likely due to Bloomberg’s placement in our candidate ranking earlier this year, our readers are far and away the most enthusiastic Bloomberg supporters on campus and in the East Lansing community. Perhaps our readers were thrilled when they found the meatball that looked like Mike, or perhaps they couldn’t pass up a president who can fit 11 D batteries in his mouth at the same time. Either way, these voters have decided to put the country into Bloomberg’s hands, and for that, we at The Evening Look applaud them.

Despite mounting pressure in the Democratic primary at large, we can all rest easy now that we better understand Bloomberg and his base.  Like Klobuchar and Buttigieg before him, he is likely to drop out in hopes of consolidating the moderate Democrats behind Joe Biden. We can expect Warren to do the same for Bernie, so prepare yourself for the clash of the second-choice titans. No matter what, you can expect a Democratic National Convention that’ll be just as fun to watch as our Spartans narrowly missing another Final Four win.

-J. Arc