Call Me By Your Pronoun

As I lay, half-baked and alone on the couch, watching Call Me by Your Name for the 6.9th time, I couldn’t help but think to myself:

“I’m pretty sure I’m straight, but damn if I wouldn’t fuck Armie Hammer right now.”

I want to make it crystal clear that I would be more than willing to enter into a heated romantic relationship with Armie Hammer if it meant living in Italy, sipping on San Pellegrino Aranciata all day, and finger fucking peaches all night. I also have a deep desire to marry both Winklevoss twins at the same time.

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Candidates of the Corn: The Evening Look Primary Guide

On the day of the Iowa Caucus, The Evening Look presents its undisputed supreme ranking of our top eight Democratic primary candidates. This article is of critical importance given our large fanbase in the Hawkeye State. We hope everyone takes the time to vote in whatever manner they choose.  Our careful vetting of the candidates and thorough insight into the election will help some of the undecided amongst you find the candidate that is right for you and the country.

Continue reading Candidates of the Corn: The Evening Look Primary Guide