Tag: High Thoughts

Here Comes The Night Time

The thing about staying up all night is that the evening never ends. It will continue until the sun rises, alerting you to changes in the world around you.

At 3 AM on November 4, 2020, nobody knew who would be the next president. We still don’t know. CNN and MSNBC especially are surely enjoying the horse race. A “NAIL-BITER ELECTION COMES DOWN TO AZ, GA, MI, NC, PA, WI” while much of our audience tries to sleep through something that would in most years be done by midnight. Our horribly broken electoral system may once again fail to do what it was meant to do, balancing power between the states.

Political parties spent millions trying to get the votes of people like me and my parents because we live in a Designated Swing State, even though our votes have been set in stone since November 9, 2016. Everyone on Twitter needed to spend their night screaming at about 300,000 people in Florida, or at a governor who barred over twice that number from voting by forcing them to pay unreasonable amounts of money to vote.

At the same time, there are many on the left screaming at the Biden campaign for not reaching out to Latinx voters in much of the Sun Belt. It seemed that they just assumed they would get the same amount of votes they got in 2016 there, not bothering to see if that was actually the case or if anything strange was up. There was a sense of complacency, that they could just count on things happening because that’s what happened before. Although it’s too early to draw any conclusions about a nail-biter election, it does remind me of what this blog has become for me.

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Queer Eye for the GOP Guy

Sitting in my apartment during this pandemic has caused me to master a shameful lifestyle: watching hours of Netflix with an ever-refilling glass of rosé in hand and Keebler Elfwiches in my fabulous tummy.

Being someone who proudly identifies as “a little gay,” I found myself endlessly consuming one of my favorite shows: Queer Eye.

After this spring’s “Too Hot to Handle” craze, I found myself desiring something more sophisticated and far less straight. Although I spent plenty of time obsessing over Harry and Francesca’s delightfully high-cost dalliance, I found the show had too little actual sex appeal and too many British airheads. Queer Eye is a show dedicated to introducing schlubs to positive lifestyle changes which are acceptable by the standards of the bourgeoisie.

…So perfectly my style.

While binging Queer Eye, I had an epiphany: Conservative culture could really use a makeover. I am gonna give conservatives a good old-fashioned Queer Eye makeover in hopes of making them less cranky, angry, fearful, and racist! Otherwise it might be a little dangerous to introduce them to Karamo.

So here we go, my wonderful Muppets! Time to make Republicans young and old see how much they could improve their own self-worth through a few simple lifestyle changes!

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