Well, queens: We did it. Joe Biden has won the 2020 Presidential election, thus ending the tyrannical rule of D*nald Tr*mp. Gone are the days of worrying about children in cages. Gone are the days of thinking about Russian interference. Gone are the days of the Cheeto in the White House. Finally, I won’t have to wake up every morning, wondering what the President said on Twitter last night while searching for Canadian flight tickets.
Joe Biden is the President-elect, and now we can finally go back to brunch.
Now, I know Joe Biden isn’t perfect. I’m pretty sure he once did something creepy, or maybe voted for a bad bill or something — I’m not really sure. Regardless, I know he’s not going to be our savior. But also he was best friends with Obama, so how bad can he be? Plus, his Vice President is Kamala Harris, and she’s like the ultimate #girlboss. Not to mention the fact that we’ll get at least 4 more years of Maya Rudolph on Saturday Night Live (but let’s be honest, it’ll be 8).
Unfortunately in 2016, we were unable to completely dismantle the patriarchy by electing the first female President. I honestly thought my life was over. Hillary Clinton was such a feminist icon, and yet all thanks to Jill Stein and her gang of Bernie bros, we ended up with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Then we lost an American hero, John McCain, and then just this year lost my idol, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (or as she was commonly known: the Notorious RBG). To put it bluntly, these past four years have been hard. But now we will finally be able to get back to normal.
I’m getting brunch with some of my gal pals this Sunday. We haven’t seen each other since quarantine started (another thing we won’t have to worry about under Biden), and I’m so excited to catch up and celebrate together. I know COVID is still going on, but like we’ve been super careful and we’ll keep our masks on until we get to our table anyway. Plus, after years of suffering under the orange man, we’ve earned this. We’ve earned a celebration. With Joe Biden as President, we will finally get to breathe a breath of fresh air. It’s exciting to not have to think about the news anymore. Politics will finally be boring again.