Last week, I was walking down Farm Lane, as tends to happen when you have a painful walk to far South Campus for a class. I was minding my own business, blasting my tunes, and generally feeling okay about the state of humanity.
And then I saw it.
Continue reading Galaxy Brains of Farm Lane
A white, gleaming table with a large sign in front, containing some of the purest examples of Farm Lane Guys I’ve ever seen.
Hello, devoted readers of The Evening Look. I too, am a reader like yourself–you will notice quickly that I do not have the sharp wit of B. Bunny or the sarcastic introspection of O. Justice. But I do have a story, one that I think will be of interest to you all.
Continue reading Down in the DMs: The Sergei Slide
I don’t understand your strategy. You consistently write about various instances of collegiate “leftism” on campus yet, as a self-titled conservative outlet, refuse to comment or criticize anything. It seems almost contradictory that your tagline reads “objectivity, not subjectivity”, yet you blatantly label yourself as the only conservative publication on campus.
Which one is it?
Continue reading Consider That The Morning Watch Might Accidentally Be Furthering Campus Liberalism
If you’re like us, you probably had a pretty chilled out summer. You saw your friends a couple times, and you probably had a fun 4th of July, but you spent a lot of time counting down to important milestones: the end of your shitty job, the day when you could see your faraway college friends for the first time, and of course, the return of lower effort content to The Evening Look. (If you want good content, go read L. Squirrel’s post about the tragedies in Dayton and El Paso.)
Unfortunately, that means the return of us having to engage with others’ content. Our friends at The Morning Watch had themselves a bit of a hot girl summer, posting several times to warn us about the MSU language police’s activities. Though we can’t wait to dive into those, today I wanted to talk about an article that slipped in just as we were going on break: “Where has Western Civilization Gone?”, by Babs Hough.
Hough’s main issue is with MSU’s international teaching programs. Why, she asks, is there no center for studying Western civilization? There’s a center for African studies, Asian studies, even Gender in Global Context. Surely the good ole boys and girls next door can have a place to study great thinkers like Jefferson, Descartes, and Napoleon?
Continue reading The Backstroke of the West
Author’s Note: Today, The Evening Look makes its triumphant return to the land of the living under horrific circumstances. I wasn’t sure that I should write this article and I’m still not sure it’s a good idea. I’m sure I could try to find some humor in this situation. I could mock Walmart or Neil Degrasse Tyson or write about how 30 to 50 feral hogs could produce better content than The Morning Watch. But I don’t want to do that. I want to do something I’ve never done before. I want to be taken seriously.
31 victims. 22 dead in El Paso. 9 dead in Dayton. 3 dead the week before in
Gilroy. I wish I knew all their names—I should learn all their names. But
there’s too many of them. I looked up a list of mass shootings and there’s too
many of them. Too many children. Too many parents. Too many people. And that
doesn’t include the nameless, faceless, forgotten victims. The friends and
families. The tears, funerals, and therapy. Pain outlives spectacle. Time heals
wounds, but not the type of wounds created by an AK-47.
Now I could delve into the issue of gun control. I could tell you about how the US is alone in the world with its frequency of mass shootings. I could explain how there is no statistical differences in video game usage or incidence of mental illness compared to other countries, but there is a significantly larger number of guns in the US and access is easier. Or I could discuss the prevalence of NRA money in American politics and how the Dickey Amendment stunted gun research for twenty years. The obvious connections between the El Paso shooters manifesto and the anti-immigrant rhetoric of the Republican Party and conservative media. But you already know about that or can find it somewhere else, written and researched by a professional who has done a better job than I ever could. Instead, I offer something different, some free advice from Honest Abe and the greatest speech of all time: The Gettysburg Address.
Continue reading Four Score & Seven Shootings Ago
A while ago, I was engaged in a familiar morning ritual – drowning in a mixed-gender harem of proletariat nymphomaniacs, then grabbing a cup of delicious cafeteria coffee and checking The Morning Watch for content. To my surprise, I found a new opinion piece written by one Joseph Gendron entitled “An Open Letter to the New Religion of Intersectionality”. With this piece, Gendron has filled an important need for The Morning Watch – a true manifesto. While there is a mission statement on their website, it reads like ad copy, and as we’ve tried to show through our first set of articles, the pursuit of truth tends to elude them. I feel that this article is a truer expression of the mind of the young conservative found at The Morning Watch. This is conservatism for the TikTok Age, an expression of a group victimized by a huge leftist mob despite everyone around them being conservative.
Continue reading GAMERS RISE UP
(1) adj. refers to the property of an object (or person) as broken, ruined, significantly damaged, disfigured or deformed, often to the extent that it is not reversible or repairable.
(2) adj. an extreme state of intoxication by way of drugs or alcohol such that the subject’s ability to perform basic tasks such as walking and talking are significantly impaired.
Source: Urban Dictionary
Have you ever met someone so munted they adamantly deny the earth’s climate is changing? They tend to justify this with arguments such as:
- Winter still exists
- New York isn’t underwater, so it can’t be happening
- Even if it were, only yuppie-liberal “intellectuals” would die so it’s not that bad
- Sun cycles
- The earth is only 5000 years old, so your “science” is bullshit
If these arguments grind your gears as much as mine, then prepare to lube up.
Continue reading Climate Change Deniers are Munted
My new favorite output from The Morning Watch is “The Watchdog,” a bizarre new series focused on going to minority-themed events and asking stupid questions. Host Sergei Kelley has released two episodes, each of which fits squarely in The Morning Watch’s confusing canon.
Continue reading Take “The Watchdog” Out Back
Recently, The Morning Watch published “MSU Class: Understanding Patriarchy Assigned, Syllabus Says, “Keep an Open Mind” About Incest”.
I will keep my thoughts brief. Such a piece is deserving of no response – but the very nature of internet communication and incentives in academia necessitates it.
Continue reading Understanding Absolutely Nothing
On Valentine’s Day ninety years ago, love filled the windy Chicago air as Al Capone and a number of his compadres allegedly gunned down seven members of a rival gang. History, as it is wont to do, attempted to repeat itself last night at the bi-weekly meeting of the General Assembly of the Associated Students of Michigan State University (ASMSU). There the day’s aura of human connection was shattered by the brutal reality of politics. A bill calling for the removal of College of Agriculture and Natural Resources representative and The Morning Watch Executive Editor Sergei Kelley was proposed and a vote to have said bill bypass the usual committee procedures quickly succeeded. The next couple of hours were equally tense and boring, as the organization slowly waded through its bureaucratic and procedural necessities while representative Kelley sat patiently waiting for the debate and vote that would determine his fate. When the debate reared its head, it did so with extreme passion, as copious amounts of frustration and anger bubbled to surface of this oft placid environment. By the end of the discussion, however, the outcome was clear: Sergei Kelley would live to see another day as a representative of ASMSU. And so he did, as a number of other representatives stormed out of the assembly in various states of sorrow and bewilderment. This is the story of how Kelley found himself on the brink of disaster, and why he still woke up today as a member of ASMSU.
Continue reading Saving Sergei Kelley