If you, like me, have been trying to find a timesink as COVID-19 strips you of most worldly pleasures, you’ve probably come across discussions of Animal Crossing: New Horizons. After years as something of a cult favorite, New Horizons has burst into the zeitgeist as it became the most popular Animal Crossing title to date. That’s not saying that any previous title could be considered “indie” in any sense, but rather that New Horizons has become virtually unavoidable across game communities and social media. With that, the community has revved up into full force, with a surprisingly intricate online network that tried to meet the community’s material and social needs. Across Reddit and elsewhere, the game has formed its own online economy, down to a literal credit rating as a form of digital citizenship.
If you spend enough time in this space, and have your brain rot just enough where things start to fit together, some phenomena become visible. Namely, that it essentially crashed and rebuilt itself on two separate occasions since March.
Continue reading Simulated Markets in the Animal Crossing: New Horizons Community: An Exploration
As I lay, half-baked and alone on the couch, watching Call Me by Your Name for the 6.9th time, I couldn’t help but think to myself:
“I’m pretty sure I’m straight, but damn if I wouldn’t fuck Armie Hammer right now.”
I want to make it crystal clear that I would be more than willing to enter into a heated romantic relationship with Armie Hammer if it meant living in Italy, sipping on San Pellegrino Aranciata all day, and finger fucking peaches all night. I also have a deep desire to marry both Winklevoss twins at the same time.
Continue reading Call Me By Your Pronoun
Last week, I was walking down Farm Lane, as tends to happen when you have a painful walk to far South Campus for a class. I was minding my own business, blasting my tunes, and generally feeling okay about the state of humanity.
And then I saw it.
Continue reading Galaxy Brains of Farm Lane
A white, gleaming table with a large sign in front, containing some of the purest examples of Farm Lane Guys I’ve ever seen.
Author’s Note: Today, The Evening Look makes its triumphant return to the land of the living under horrific circumstances. I wasn’t sure that I should write this article and I’m still not sure it’s a good idea. I’m sure I could try to find some humor in this situation. I could mock Walmart or Neil Degrasse Tyson or write about how 30 to 50 feral hogs could produce better content than The Morning Watch. But I don’t want to do that. I want to do something I’ve never done before. I want to be taken seriously.
31 victims. 22 dead in El Paso. 9 dead in Dayton. 3 dead the week before in
Gilroy. I wish I knew all their names—I should learn all their names. But
there’s too many of them. I looked up a list of mass shootings and there’s too
many of them. Too many children. Too many parents. Too many people. And that
doesn’t include the nameless, faceless, forgotten victims. The friends and
families. The tears, funerals, and therapy. Pain outlives spectacle. Time heals
wounds, but not the type of wounds created by an AK-47.
Now I could delve into the issue of gun control. I could tell you about how the US is alone in the world with its frequency of mass shootings. I could explain how there is no statistical differences in video game usage or incidence of mental illness compared to other countries, but there is a significantly larger number of guns in the US and access is easier. Or I could discuss the prevalence of NRA money in American politics and how the Dickey Amendment stunted gun research for twenty years. The obvious connections between the El Paso shooters manifesto and the anti-immigrant rhetoric of the Republican Party and conservative media. But you already know about that or can find it somewhere else, written and researched by a professional who has done a better job than I ever could. Instead, I offer something different, some free advice from Honest Abe and the greatest speech of all time: The Gettysburg Address.
Continue reading Four Score & Seven Shootings Ago
(1) adj. refers to the property of an object (or person) as broken, ruined, significantly damaged, disfigured or deformed, often to the extent that it is not reversible or repairable.
(2) adj. an extreme state of intoxication by way of drugs or alcohol such that the subject’s ability to perform basic tasks such as walking and talking are significantly impaired.
Source: Urban Dictionary
Have you ever met someone so munted they adamantly deny the earth’s climate is changing? They tend to justify this with arguments such as:
- Winter still exists
- New York isn’t underwater, so it can’t be happening
- Even if it were, only yuppie-liberal “intellectuals” would die so it’s not that bad
- Sun cycles
- The earth is only 5000 years old, so your “science” is bullshit
If these arguments grind your gears as much as mine, then prepare to lube up.
Continue reading Climate Change Deniers are Munted